I have done my own research and I have uncovered what may be the most insidious, evil and vicious plot yet from the deep state, the Soros-Biden-Hillary-Pedophile-Steve Jobs-Hugo Chavez’ ghost cabal, and the Marital-Industrial complex. 

That’s right, not a typo or misprint. Not Martial Arts, but Marital, as in love, marriage and family, the basis of society as we know it. 

As chronicled without suspicion—or perhaps with full, co-conspirator intent, I’m not one to cast aspersions without proof—by the obligatory wedding bible The Knot, it is increasingly popular at receptions to offer tattoos to the guests. 

Ah, you say, rather charming! Bold, a bit scary. 

Follow me closely here, because this may be not obvious to those who don’t know the signs. I might not have been clued in myself, except recently a friend was proudly showing off their wedding tattoo. And like a revelation, I suddenly realized what was going on. 

It was a BIRD tattoo. And, this bird. It was BLUE. Almost as if the left, in their self-satisfied minds, were taunting me, thinking, in their elite superiority, I was not smart enough to catch the flaunting of their intentions. Because I and others on the internet know birds aren’t real. What seem to be birds are well-disguised drones the deep state is using to keep an eye on its citizens. To control us. AN EAGLE EYE! 

Birds are no more real than the bots I play against on Words With Friends, who are always available, make their moves quickly, always score just one or two points more or less than me until I pull ahead just in time to win. Whew. 

I get my little dopamine kick out of winning and keep playing. Words With Friends offers players the option of requesting a rematch when each game is over. Not one of the challenger bots has ever done so. But shortly after each game ends, a new request to play comes from another bot stranger. This month, instead of the previous version of middle-aged men named Steve who are “Dad bod” handsome, it has been women. Hi, Sharon, Joyce, Suzy! Cute dogs! 

Back to the birds. How do you get tattoos? From needles. And what do needles do? Insert radio chips into the unsuspecting, such as the millennials and Gen Xers and older Fox and OAN news channel viewers who were alert and informed enough to reject that vaccine. But what guest patronizing the open bar would be worried about celebrating a friend’s nuptial? Certainly not a grandma who has just really enjoyed one or two of that bartender’s special drinks artisanally curated just for these two kids. 

If the birds and the wedding video drones haven’t gotten enough of an eye on us, they have lured us into putting the chips literally under our skin! 

Excuse me, I have another request to play from Words with Friends.

Now the bot stranger asking to play is once again male, and the first word it plays is CHIP. 

Oh no, they’re listening! They know I’m on to them! 

You may not hear from me again, but please. Tell everyone you know. Look to your skin and the skies, because they are looking at YOU.