There was a time when life was simple.

You had a plug.

It had two prongs.

You inserted it into a wall.

It worked.

That was it. No adapters. No compatibility drama. No “fast-charge capable but only with approved cable.” Electricity flowed freely, like common sense.

Today? Every object in my house, excluding perhaps the stove and refrigerator, comes with its own charger.

The phone.
The tablet.
The laptop.

And something in a drawer that I’m too afraid to throw away because I have no idea what it charges.

Once upon a time, all plugs fit all outlets. It was a golden age. Plugs didn’t judge. Outlets didn’t discriminate.

Now every device arrives with a cord that almost looks like one you already own,  but isn’t. It’s slimmer. Or fatter. Or oval. 

You plug it in.

It doesn’t fit.

You flip it over.

Still doesn’t fit.

You rotate it like you’re cracking a bank vault.

Now it fits.

You feel no victory. Only relief.

And then there’s the USB situation.

There’s Big USB.
Small USB.
Micro USB.
USB-C.
USB-C Fast.
USB-C Not So Fast.
USB-C That Transfers Data But Refuses To Charge Because It Has Personal Boundaries.

So naturally, you buy a charging station.

But not just any charging station.

You need one with:

• Large USB ports
• Small USB ports
• USB-C ports
• Regular plug outlets
• Fast-charge capability
• A surge protector
• And a backup multi-adapter because one of them will absolutely disappear into The Drawer.

Every room in my house now has a charging station.

Bedroom? Of course.
Living room? Naturally.
Kitchen? Obviously.
Bathroom? Why not.

My house is one outlet short of qualifying as municipal infrastructure.

And then it hit me.

We don’t need charging stations in every room.

We need a Charging Closet.

That’s right.

Forget the broom closet.

Who even has a broom anymore? The broom has a battery. The mop has a battery. Half the tools in my house hum when you press a button.

Get rid of the brooms and mops.

Install shelves.

Floor-to-ceiling shelves.

With:

• Every size USB port known to man
• Rows of outlets
• Multi-adapter hubs
• Charging docks
• Backup bricks
• Extension strips
• Label makers
• Possibly a small on-site electrician

A sacred space where all devices go at night to feed.

New homes should come with one.

Three bedrooms.
Two baths.
Granite countertops.
Walk-in Charging Closet.

Realtors should point to it proudly:

“And here we have the Charging Closet, wired for USB-A, USB-C, fast charge, slow charge, international adapters, and future technologies we haven’t invented yet but will absolutely require.”

No more broom closet.

Because let’s face it, the new brooms are rechargeable.

Meanwhile, I am standing in my bathroom, surrounded by six incompatible cords, holding the wrong one.

Again.

Battery: 2%.

Charging Closet:- priceless

I’ll have my carpenter and electrician here tomorrow, if they are finished building theirs.

Michael Kossove is Professor Emeritus, Touro University. He lives in Kauneonga Lake, NY.