“You don’t have to be a brill-yant,” as my mother would say, to figure out the meaning of “No running with scissors.” It’s right there in the expression itself. “Is it an expression or an idiom?” I wondered aloud, “and what’s the difference?” Uh oh.  

A quick Google search on the ole computer had this to say: “‘Running with Scissors’ is a 2006 American comedy-drama film written and directed by Ryan Murphy, based on Augusten Burroughs’ 2002 memoir of the same name.” 

“Oy,” I muttered to the dog, “I didn’t know that, but it’s not what I was looking for at all!” 

My next tip-tap-click revealed this: “The exact origin of the idiom (OK, then) ‘Don’t run with scissors’ is unclear, but it likely stems from a time when children were frequently given sharp objects like scissors without proper supervision.” Well, duh.

These days it feels like a miracle if I can haul myself out of bed, much less run—but that is precisely what I did repeatedly over the last week. And as I slowly made my way from one stop to another, there were scissors being wielded all around the county. Giant scissors, to be precise, and you know what that means: Ribbon-cutting.

“Nobody is running,” Sullivan County Chamber of Commerce president/CEO Jaime Schmeiser assured me, “but we’re all thrilled to be here with the giant scissors for the official ribbon-cutting.” The “here” Schmeiser was referring to is the Bold Gold Media Group’s (BGMG) brand new studio, housed on the second floor of Main Street’s Liberty Theater. 

Throngs of well-wishers showed up to see the scissors in action and tour the state-of-the-art recording facility. Liberty residents in attendance included Sheriff Mike Schiff, county clerk Russell Reeves and District 6 legislator Luis Alvarez. Sullivan Catskills Visitors Association (SCVA) president/CEO Roberta Byron-Lockwood, county treasurer Nancy Buck and county manager Josh Potosek were also spotted congratulating Bold Gold guru Vince Benedetto and theater owner Bruce Davidson. 

“It was Bruce who brought the idea of creating a studio upstairs to us” Bold Gold New York’s general manager Dawn Ciorciari told me before picking up the you-know-what. “Are we ready?” she asked the crowd. “Three, two… one!” 

The place is cool, and now Davidson is readying the refurbished theater space on the lower level for a ribbon-cutting ceremony of its very own. I should probably take a nap before speaking with him about that.

As I steered toward Rock Hill and another celebration, I recalled last week’s front-page story about Platinum Leaf, the county’s first recreational-use cannabis dispensary. 

“I’m just here for the photo-op,” I assured Schmeiser, who had once again magically appeared in front of the place, with the giant scissors and ribbon in hand. “Uh huh,” she murmured, with a wink and a nod. I shrugged and turned to the SCVA’s Lourdesa Hunt for help. “Sorry,” Hunt’s amused smirk seemed to say. “You’re on your own.”

Dispensary proprietors Bernie and Chyna were excited to see so many turn up for the official grand opening, and admired the scissors before cutting the ribbon and saying a few words. “Today Platinum Leaf joins a select few of other licensed dispensaries that have opened up across New York,” Chyna said. “As Sullivan County residents, we are happy to provide a clean, presentable and safe space. Whether it’s to ease your ailments, or simply recreational, we at Platinum Leaf are here to fulfill your needs.” 

I didn’t see Jaime or Lourdesa, so I showed my ID at the door, stepped inside and took a look around while everyone admired the dog. The staff of “bud-tenders” was friendly, knowledgeable and informative, so I learned a few things and may or may not have purchased something to “ease my ailments.” You go, Sullivan County. ‘Bout time. 

Although the date was 4-20, (if you know you know) there were neither bud-tenders nor scissors in sight when I pulled into the lot at WJFF Radio Catskill last Saturday, but there was a party goin’ on nonetheless. Having just surpassed their spring fundraising goal, the staff and army of volunteers were celebrating in style with a Tiny Porch Concert featuring a fantastic lineup of live music presented by the likes of Bob Tellefsen, Greg Castro, Little Sparrow and Paul Kogut, to name but a few.

Additionally, the date coincided with the 30th anniversary of host Jesse Ballew’s wildly popular radio program “Jambalaya,” and he was surprised with a giant cake presented by WJFF general manager Tim Bruno and pals. “That’s the last time I tell [Little Sparrow’s] Aldo Troiani anything,” Ballew told his listeners, while I asked Jesse and Tim to pose for a photo. “He’s on the air, Jonathan,” Bruno reminded me, so I snapped a quick one, grabbed a piece of cake and left the studio. 

Gidget and I hung around outside for a while and enjoyed the food, entertainment, convivial atmosphere and of course the music—presented on the aforementioned “tiny porch.” 

Before titian-haired musician Kathy Geary took the stage to perform a short set, I asked her if she had giant scissors in her guitar case. She looked at me quizzically and asked if I was high. “Everyone knows you shouldn’t run with scissors, Jonathan. It’s an idiom.” 

For more on how to donate to your favorite public radio station, visit www.wjffradio.org. 

Fun Fact: According to www.grammarly.com, an idiom is “a phrase that, when taken as a whole, has a meaning you wouldn’t be able to deduce from the meanings of the individual words. It’s essentially the verbal equivalent of using the wrong math formula but still getting the correct answer.” I was never very good at math, either.