As we exit Stress Awareness Month (which takes place each April), it’s important to remember that stress doesn’t always shout. Sometimes, it whispers—quietly changing behaviors, masking feelings, and slipping by unnoticed until it becomes overwhelming.

The following six subtle patterns are common protective responses to emotional stress. While they may seem harmless or even helpful on the surface, they often signal underlying distress that deserves attention and care:

Filtering: Filtering occurs when individuals downplay or ignore their true feelings, often saying they are fine when they are actually experiencing emotional distress. This might happen because they fear burdening others with their emotions, or they worry about the stigma associated with mental health issues. As a result, they choose to conceal their true feelings by claiming they are “fine,” making it easier to avoid confronting or discussing their emotional state. 

People-pleasing: People-pleasing is a behavior where individuals consistently put others’ needs before their own to avoid disappointing them. This often involves overextending themselves by taking on too many responsibilities or failing to say no. While this may temporarily create a sense of worth, it can lead to emotional burdens, including increased anxiety, stress and depression. 

Glossing: Glossing, or toxic positivity, involves excessively using optimism to dismiss real emotional struggles, often by using humor or false reassurances to avoid acknowledging difficult feelings. While humor can be a healthy coping mechanism, when misused it can mask deeper issues and hurt others. Toxic positivity undermines genuine empathy and minimizes negative emotions, which can hinder emotional healing and growth. 

Fixating: Fixating refers to an excessive focus on certain behaviors or activities, such as deep engagement in hobbies, shopping, social media use, substance overindulgence or unhealthy eating as a means to avoid dealing with underlying issues. This behavior often serves as an escape from reality or a way to gain control when emotions feel overwhelming. While it provides temporary relief, fixating can prevent addressing and resolving the real emotional challenges at hand. 

Ghosting: Ghosting is the act of suddenly and without warning withdrawing from a relationship, situation or friendship. It is typically used as a means to avoid emotional discomfort, confrontation or responsibilities, differing from the establishment of healthy boundaries, which involves clear communication. Ghosting can leave unresolved issues and impact both parties emotionally. 

Rotting: Rotting refers to the physical manifestation of mental health issues, characterized by symptoms like fatigue, exhaustion and malaise. This can lead to “bed rotting,” in which individuals spend excessive time in bed, avoiding daily activities and responsibilities. While some relaxation is beneficial, prolonged periods of bed rotting can harm both mental and physical health.

How you can help

You don’t have to be a clinician to make a difference. Here’s how you can support someone showing signs of silent six behaviors:

Gently check in and ask how they’re really doing.

Avoid minimizing their experience with “at least” or “it could be worse.”

Share this resource to open up conversation or offer support.

Lead with empathy—connection is often the first step to healing.

Stress doesn’t always look like stress. Let’s work together to ensure that when the signs are subtle, we still see them.

Give an Hour envisions a society in which every individual is equipped with the knowledge, resources and opportunities to take charge of their mental health journey. Their website states the group promotes self-awareness, self-care and self-advocacy that empowers individuals to make informed decisions and actively participate in their own mental well-being. Learn more at giveanhour.org.