Hyperlinked

By Willow Baum
Posted 7/19/19

I place creamy hot coffee on my desk. Sit down. Torch a wooden match. Set aflame a tea-light candle. Inhale. Exhale. Three times, mindfully. I invite the muse to infuse my writing work with …

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I place creamy hot coffee on my desk. Sit down. Torch a wooden match. Set aflame a tea-light candle. Inhale. Exhale. Three times, mindfully. I invite the muse to infuse my writing work with creativity, and the day ahead with productivity.
Let’s get to work, I think, flipping open my MacBook.
Whoa—21 tabs open in Google Chrome! Hmmm... better close a few. Limit distractions.
I made that chicken recipe from TasteofHome.com last night. Close. And that happiness research article that reports the biggest obstacle to creativity is busy-ness? Reading that just keeps falling off my to-do list. It’s been open two weeks now. The headline tells the story anyway…close.
Facebook! Close. Top productivity hack: don’t get sucked into social media, email or scanning news—fake or otherwise—first thing in the morning. Behavioral economist and psychological studies prove: doing low-cognitive tasks the first couple hours of each day as one fully wakes up wrecks one’s capacity to accomplish essential tasks for the remainder of the day.
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Netflix can go…
…of course I did fall asleep last night, just minutes from finishing episode 7 of “Sense8”…I really should just wrap up that last bit now, see how they’ll suck viewers into binge-watching the next episode.
Finishing stuff is important.
That actress playing Sun on “Sense8” looks so familiar. I wonder if she’s the same actress in “Cloud Atlas?” The young Asian innocent enslaved in some kind of roller rink bordello? She delivered those clincher lines like “Our lives are not our own.” and “We are all connected.”
Makes sense. The Wachowskis produced “Cloud Atlas” and “Sense8.” Or did they write and direct both projects, too? Let’s see what Wikipedia has to say…
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A-ha! The Wachowskis wrote, directed AND co-produced “Cloud Atlas.” Except that girl wasn’t exactly human or captive in a brothel. Says here: “Sonmi-451 is a ‘fabricant,’ a human cloned for slave labor, living as a server at a fast food restaurant in a dystopian South Korea.” Neo Seoul, 2044, they call her sci-fi world.
That actress looks like she would be about the right age now since “Cloud Atlas” was released in…when was that again…?
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2012, right.
Wikipedia only gives the actress’ name, Doona Bae. IMDb will be more useful…
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Seoul, South Korean born.
October 11, 1979.
Credits include “Cloud Atlas” and “Sense8.”
Settled!
Her mother was a stage actress and “Bae started out as a model. She soon moved to TV and movies, and it proved the right move.” Since when does IMDb pass judgment on career moves?
Wait—what’s that banner ad on the right... above that photo of a dumpy white guy in a pea coat? Headline says “Dramatic On-Screen Transformations.” I swear I know those eyes. I’ll just enlarge that picture a little.
Eyes are the windows to the soul. Who said that, anyway? Credit should be given where due. I’ll Google that, super-quick…
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Shakespeare. Cicero. Jesus, maybe? Eh! Inconclusive search results. I’ll leave this tab open, come back later…
That pasty guy in the wool coat with a vinyl record tucked under his arm…I should know him. I’m very good at identifying actors and actresses. Those jowls are probably fake, dramatically transformed.
I’ll just solve this teeny mystery, and then get to work...
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Jared Leto in “Chapter 27” (2007)?! Of course! Those jowls really threw me. “Chapter 27”? Never heard of it.
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Oh, right... the story of Mark David Chapman shooting John Lennon. Wonder if it was any good...
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Rotten Tomatoes’ Tomatometer gives it 19%. Jared Leto really does look kind of like Chapman when I compare these Google images of the real Chapman.
How much of Jared Leto disappearing into that character was due to “radical physical changes” or his performance? Better take a peek at the trailer, decide for myself…
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Yup, Jared nailed the part. Should have known it was him. It’s really quite obvious, now that I know.
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Whoa—there’s 51 photos in this “Dedicated-Actors-Who-Underwent-Radical-Dramatic-Transformations-For-Their-Roles” gallery!!
What other actors could possibly be in this gallery? I bet they’re actors in newer films. Not, say, John Hurt in “The Elephant Man.” This site is probably click-baiting Millennials anyway who can speedrun “Zelda” while they group-text their friends and live-stream the Pitchfork Music Festival.
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I’ll just zip right through a couple more here. Then, work.
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I know! I’ll make scrolling through a few more photos like a game. Studies prove that play is essential for creativity and productivity. I still have a report on that topic, open in Chrome.
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I’ll try to guess the next three out of five actors. If I can’t do three in a row, I’ll start over. I’m very good at this sort of thing. Leto being a rare exception. I’ll pretend this guessing game is a time trial because I really must work. I hope my Internet connection can keep pace…
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Hugh Jackman as Jean Valjean in “Les Misérables”! Not so easy on the eyes in that film...
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Natalie Portman in “Black Swan”! Simply pulling her hair back in a slick, tight bun and dropping her in a tutu, does not a Dramatic On-Screen Transformation make, IMHO.
Two for two!
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Dammit. That’s the girl from “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo,” the American version. What IS her name? I know that face, even with all those piercings. C’mon, c’mon…
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ROONEY MARA—of course! Now I have to start over!
Isn’t there at least a “Show All” view of this gallery? What kind of loser has the kind of time to click through 51 celebrity shots one at a time anyway?
Wait—what is that story at the bottom? K-Stew’s career in 24 photos? Is she even old enough to have been in 24 productions?! I really should have post-“Twilight” Kristen Stewart basic competency.
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…and then I’ll get to work.

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