As I sit at my desk, delirious with cold, chills and a fever—I’m almost positive that I’ve used the above column title before, and with a quick check via the Google, my query was confirmed. Sure enough, I wrote that same play on words back in 2012, but since I thought it was hilarious 13 years ago (and still do) well… there you have it. Chalk it up to brain freeze.

Look, fun is fun, and cold is cold, but when it comes to ice—I’m not kidding around. It was difficult enough to navigate when I first whined about it back then, but now? Let’s just say I’m no Benjamin Button. 

That said, I’m usually up for a good time either indoors or out, but since I’m down for the count at present, I did not venture outside and risk life or limb slipping, sliding or sneezing my way through the last few days. You’re welcome. As a result, I was sadly unable to make it to the first of the Delaware Valley Arts Alliance’s (DVAA) Salon Series offerings.

 “Presented each year in the depth of winter” their Facebook page declares, the Salon Series “offers audiences the opportunity to gather within the warmth of their community and experience intimate performances and creative events in Krause Recital Hall.”

With apologies to those involved with the last (I mean first),  I’ll do my best to get upright, get healthy, and get to one or more upcoming events. 

I know you all were hoping to see That Dog Named Gidget at Roscoe Beer Winterfest held at the Roscoe Mountain Club last Saturday, not to mention one of my favorite annual events—the annual Livingston Manor Rotary Ice Carnival. But alas and alack, also a no-go for me and my pup. Still, if you’ve come down with the sniffles, you can’t blame me. If you were here or there and would like to share pics, please do! Send them to Jonathanfox@riv erreporter.com with your name and location and I’ll post ‘em to social media. Assuming that I ever get out of bed again. 

But wait, there’s more. Additional icy opportunities await, and I’m looking forward to the Bethel Big Burn on February 15 at the Alton Distillery on Route 17B, featuring the Jaketown Road Acoustic and Electric Trio. Between now and then, bring your organic Christmas tree (that means nothing artificial) to the distillery and plan to enjoy food, drinks and a seriously big bonfire, all of which serves to kick off the (wait for it) Sullivan County Conservation Club’s King of the Ice fishing derby, which I never miss. I don’t fish, but I love taking photos of folks who do, and it’s good old-fashioned ridiculously cold fun for the entire family. Bring hand warmers and wear cleats. You’re welcome.

So, we’ve established that I don’t fish and I don’t skate, but I don’t snowshoe either, so there’s that. I’m just trying to remain upright until spring, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t explore the many options available—and I’ve dug up a few resources for you to facilitate ice-cold fun in the winter sun. I discovered a skating rink in Hancock, NY located in the town square, which is open and offering “outdoor music, complimentary hot cocoa and heaters on weekends” through February 16. What happens after that? Bring your own cocoa? I don’t know. Follow Hancock Partners on the Facebook to learn more.

What? You still want more? Metal artist extraordinaire Zac Shavrick (zacmax.com) has partnered up with New Memories (find ‘em on the Facebook) in Parksville to present this year’s Winter Burn (February 22) outdoor art and music festival, and I hear that it’s gonna be hot! Great music, amazing food by Double Up and a Ping-Pong tourney that includes an opportunity to win a Zacmax sculpture await, along with live welding, foot warmers and “lots of fire.” As Zac himself says, “You can’t say there’s nothing to do around here in the winter,” and who am I to argue with the master? 

Oddly, (IMHO) I could not easily find an ice rink near Honesdale, PA, but while doing some research regarding wintry fun on the Pennsylvania side of the river, I came across  this: “Explore the beautiful countryside on pristine cross-country, snowmobile, and horseback trails. Take in the winter beauty of the Pocono Mountains on a sleigh ride or set out on snowshoes. Mush a team of Siberian Huskies [what?] during a dogsled ride, or ice skate and ice fish your way around one of our many lakes.” Check out some opportunities at www.poconomountains.com/things-to-do/ski-snow-activities/.  

All in all, things are heating up in the great outdoors, so I had better get better, in order to take advantage of all that the Upper Delaware River region has to offer during the colder months. Or, I could just stay in bed until things thaw out a bit. Meanwhile, I’m puttering around the kitchen at Camp Fox, making chicken soup. Lots and lots of chicken soup. I hear it’s good for the soul. Stay warm, stay dry…and have an ice day!

For more on the DVAA Salon Series, visit www.delawarevalleyartsalliance.org. 

Ask the Google: Who is Benjamin Button?

He is the main character of the 2008 film “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button,” who ages backwards, having been born an old man and dying looking like an infant.”