I once read an article about writing articles. It included a laundry list of do’s and don’ts. Among the many don’ts was this admonition: “Never begin an essay with ‘The dictionary defines ___ as blah-blah-blah.’”

Apparently it’s trite, or lazy, or I-don’t-know-what, but the warning didn’t include the word “Google.” As a result, I’ve eschewed using the old-fashioned dictionary and substituted it with the newfangled online know-it-all as a source for my constant research into the whys and wherefores of my column-writing universe.

That brings me to the subject at hand: Gala season is upon us in the Upper Delaware River region. I’ve already attended two and it’s not even Thanksgiving yet—and while I have a fairly good idea of what a gala is, I have questions. So I asked the Google.

What exactly is a gala? 

“A gala is a social occasion that is often a celebration of a certain event, milestone or cause,” it replied. “The event is usually hosted by a business, nonprofit organization or charity to highlight a specific achievement.”

“Makes sense,” I murmured to the dog, who ignored me. After sending in my RSVP to the Sullivan County Chamber of Commerce (SCCC), accepting their invitation to attend the “50th Anniversary Gala” (and Community Pride Awards), another question popped into my head. Back to the Google.

How is a gala different from a party? “A gala is a big party. If you’re going to a gala, you’ll want to wear your fanciest ball gown—and look great for the best party of the year. A gala often features entertainment and dinner, and sometimes dancing and an auction. It’s like a prom—but for adults.”

I don’t own a ball gown, but I do have a tux. That said, I didn’t want to get so dressed up, and I did another quick tippy-tap.

Can you wear jeans to a gala dinner? “Avoid attire such as jeans, T-shirts or casual dresses. Additionally, steer clear of overly dramatic or flashy outfits that might detract from the event’s elegance. Stick to formal and sophisticated to align with the gala’s tone. Mixing casual and formal elements is generally not recommended for a gala.”

Eyeballing my choice of black jeans, corduroy blazer and a flashy gold polka dot tie, I audibly groaned. I figured if I spilled food on my “overly dramatic” tie, no one would notice, but that thought made me hungry, so…

Does a gala include food?

“They celebrate your company’s success by giving everyone an evening to treat themselves in the lap of luxury. The best way to ensure that is with a creative gala menu. Galas are typically plated dinners.”

Sticking with my wardrobe choices and armed with that info, I steered toward the SCCC event, which was being held at the Villa Roma. Beautifully dressed women glittered and smartly attired men looked dapper. The evening progressed with a cocktail hour, followed by the aforementioned “plated dinner” as dozens of awards were presented to scores of individuals whose work is so worthy (IMHO) of being recognized by their peers. 

Sadly, That Dog Named Gidget missed her very first gala (my back hurt too much to carry her) but she was rarin’ to go the very next night when we headed out to hostess-with-the-mostess Irene Nikolai’s “Raise the Roof Gala” at the Western Hotel in Callicoon, NY. The gala promised burlesque, casino games, live music, a silent auction and dancing. In addition, Nickolai presented a sumptuous dinner served in the historic ballroom, which she is planning to renovate—hence the fundraiser/gala. 

As folks began milling about, it became apparent that everyone but me got the memo regarding Victorian attire, and I was sorely underdressed. Although the dog served as a distraction from my fashion faux pas, I took my leave early and once home, hit the Google running.

Why is it called a gala?

“It signifies a ‘festive occasion’ and has its origins in the Old French word gale, meaning a sense of joy and celebration.”

My final question, before starting to write this ill-advised column is as follows.

Why is “gala” pronounced “gayla”?

“Assuming that English adapted these words during Middle English, and pronounced them then in the Latin manner, if they underwent the expected changes from the Great Vowel Shift, the result would be gayla, drayma, strata pronunciation.” Wait—what? Oy. Don’t get me started on the Brits, cuz they say “gah-lah.” 

For more pics of these events, follow us on Facebook and visit the photo galleries at www.riverreporter.com.

To learn more about the Sullivan County Chamber of Commerce, visit www.catskills.com/, and for info on how to help “Raise the Roof” at the historic Western Hotel, go to www.westerncallicoon.com/.