Just keep walking
All I want is to make sure my family has a roof over our heads and food in our bellies. Are those two things honestly becoming that hard to come by?! Have you ever tried to feed a family of seven on $80 a week?! I have [during times when Jason can’t find work]. It sucks. Telling my kids they can’t have an apple because we have to save them to share over a whole week... Telling them they’ve got to go to bed hungry! We CANNOT cut food out of our budget! Even if it’s the last and only thing in our budget.
For a long time, I have been lashing out at myself: “What is wrong with me?” “Why can’t I figure this out?” “Isn’t there some magic formula to help me figure out how to be able to afford to live?” “Why do my kids need to struggle like this?” Then, during one of my middle-of-the-night anxiety attacks, I had a huge realization. This is not my problem [alone]. THIS IS A HUGE EPIDEMIC! There are other people and families with kids out there just like us, some much worse off even. Without homes. Without food. Without jobs. Struggling… Trying to Make. Ends. Meet.
Oddly, this made me feel a lot better. Sadly, it made me pretty darn depressed. Where do we go? What will be next? What is going to happen to us? How is it this impossible to survive anymore?
One of my dearest, dearest friends recently reminded me, “The path is there; it’s already been laid. You just need to trust that it’s there, and just keep walking.”
The time has come to trust that the path is indeed there… and to just keep walking. And the one thing carrying me through right now is gratitude. It’s the one thing that’s mine… that’s in my power… to help me see the light that shines all around me everywhere I go. And no matter what obstacles fall across my path… as long as I trust… and just keep walking… all will be okay. Somehow in some way… all will be okay. For all of us. I know that deep in my heart.
[On Saturday, December 8, less than a week after DeNardo’s blog posting, the family found a place to live, and they will move this weekend. A local farmers’ group delivered several boxes of fresh food. The family expresses its gratitude to so many people who stepped forward to help.]