Solastalgia

By JOHN ROTH

Apparently I suffer from solastalgia. I had no idea. I recently went to my doctor for my annual check-up and he gave me a clean bill of health. He never mentioned solastalgia. It wasn’t until about a week later that I was delivered the news. Thumbing through the May/June Adbusters, I came across a short article by Andy Fisher called “The Budding New Science of Ecopsychology.”* Basically, ecopsychology studies the relationship between the exterior world of nature and the interior world of the mind and emotions. For personal wellbeing, the needs of one are relevant to the other. The attached sidebar stated that, out of this science, new language has developed to capture this emerging class of human experience.

And there it was—solastalgia. “Solastalgia: A new strain of homesickness. The emotional pain you experience and the loss of hope you have about the future when you find out that your home—the place you live in and love—is under immediate assault and may no longer exist.” Bingo. And I thought I was just scared.

You see, I’m a half-mile downstream from the “test” well in Milanville, slated to be drilled this month, right on Calkins Creek, which also flows by the well site. I’m nestled between both branches of Calkins Creek; the two merge together as one at the end of my spit of land before emptying into the Delaware River less than a mile later. It’s a special spot and I love it, the only home I’ve ever owned. It came to me a blank canvas, and it made me the artist I never knew I was. My kids have lived here all their lives, grown up here, and spend countless hours in that creek. In summertime, I fall asleep to its trickling sound as it passes my window.

But sleep hasn’t come easy since learning of what’s in store upstream. Since then, the first gut-wrenching thought of the day is that my special spot will be ruined. My water will become poisoned, my property worthless. My concern is genuine. It has happened elsewhere.

I’m not a worrier by nature. I’ve taken plenty of risks in my life, turned my back on sure things and chosen paths less certain. Of course, I want farmers to keep their land intact. This isn’t a simple problem. I’d like to be “for” gas drilling. Honestly. I’d feel much better. I like money, too. I’m a self-employed carpenter with no pension or savings account. I live month to month with a kid in college, and I get nervous when the weather turns cold. I guess that makes me a farmer of sorts. But, honestly— despite tough times, I have a great life. So I turned down the man from Hess when he came by to see if I wanted to sign. As he left, he asked if there were fish in the creek. I said, “Yeah, and I want to keep it that way.” What else could I say? I have solastalgia.

[John Roth is a local artist, carpenter and resident of Milanville, PA.]

Milanville, PA

*The article cites David Abram’s book Ecopsychology: Restoring the Earth, Healing the Mind, as its source.