Hanukkah memories: I remember Mama

By JONATHAN FOX

jonathanfox@riverreporter.com

As a child, it’s difficult to appreciate the hard work that our parents go through to make the holidays special, magical and wondrous. Today, as an adult, I can look back fondly and revel in the efforts that my parents endured—between working and keeping the house running—to find time to make Hanukkah memories that linger.

My father was a jeweler, and far too busy (especially during holidays) keeping food on the table and a roof over our heads to be burdened with magic. So the brunt of the “Festival of Lights” fell on my mom. She, too, worked at my dad’s store during the busy times and was woefully overworked during the season. But she remained undaunted in her task to create special times that my sister and I still discuss to this day.

At the time, we both complained bitterly that we were given short shrift during the season, since we were not blind to the Christmas trees, stockings and the heaping piles of gifts that our non-Jewish friends appeared to reap from the mystical Santa that never slid down our chimney. My mother, therefore, had to be more than creative in an effort to appease us.

Because Hanukkah is celebrated over a period of eight nights, we were told the story of Judah and the Macabees and the miracle that occurred when they defeated the Greeks against all odds: when they reentered the Temple and relit the eternal flame, one night’s worth of consecrated olive oil (the rest had been destroyed) lasted for eight days until more sacred oil could be made. In memory, we lit our family Menorah faithfully and partook in the requisite potato latkes and chocolate coins, known as “gelt.” We made our gift wishes known, and my mother would make a game out of each night, with notes strewn throughout the house, teasing us with clues as to the whereabouts of each hidden (single) gift. To make it more exciting, the gifts grew in size and desirability as the nights wore on. Clothing was always first on the list, I suspect because mom knew it was a letdown. This way, the final night was anticipated greatly, with the fervent wish that we would get something we actually, truly, desperately desired!

One year, it was the coveted bicycle for each of us that, unbeknownst to us, our parents—exhausted from working all day and long into the night—had to assemble.

Another year it was stilts. Ahhh—the stilts! My sister and I wanted them so desperately, we almost forgot the feeling of being cheated out of Santa when they appeared before us, with the warning that they were never to be used inside the house. Yeah, right. As soon as the parents were out of sight, we were very busy mastering the art of stilt walking up and down that grand staircase in our Victorian home (it’s a Hanukkah miracle that we didn’t kill ourselves). We walked to school every day on those stilts for months.

For quite a while, my entire life revolved around LEGO, and my mother kept me well stocked through the holidays as each new piece came on the market. I missed having “special time” with mom during the season and had little understanding of why the parents weren’t around enough, so I started writing notes to her. I would write about my daily activities at school and play and then enclose them in a LEGO house, or barn, or school, or even a Temple (as I recall), constructed laboriously and with great detail, adding window boxes, lights, chimneys and the like.

Every morning, without fail, I would awake to an entirely new LEGO structure that was built (by Mom, of course) late into the night with a reply to my note, laden with what my parents’ day was like and responding to my carefully elucidated details of my fascinating third-grade life. It wasn’t until many years later that my mom explained how grueling it was to take apart my LEGO house, read my missive, write a response, and then rebuild a new structure of her own design, replete with turrets, smokestacks and outdoor lighting from her own LEGO imagination.

This simple (or so I thought) tradition made Hanukkah truly magical for me. I had no clue how tired my parents were, nor how hard they had worked to make it all seem so effortless for my sister and me.

But looking back now?

Wow.

I wrote the people at LEGO about it—and I’m sure they were enchanted, but did not feel it necessary to bestow every piece of LEGO ever created upon me, as a peace offering of Hanukkah magic. That was my mom’s job, and she still manages to make magic for me every day, one way or another.

If the LEGO people are listening—it’s not too late. That little boy is still alive with wonder deep inside the grown up man and I remember Mama (and her Herculean efforts) with appreciation, a sense of Hanukkah magic and love—above all else—love.

And isn’t that what this holiday season is about: the deep wonder that is still inside us all and the love that we get to remember and express?

Thanks, Mom.

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