The school of life

The first rejection letter, from Pratt Institute, was disappointing but not unexpected. Still, the idea that one of the most creative art schools in the country thought he needed more book learning before pursuing his art studies was a kick in the pants to our son Conor. The only other school he had applied to this year—his third year out of high school—was the School of Visual Arts (SVA).

He knew by now to look for the nine-by-12 envelope for good news. Rejection is tidy and only requires one first-class stamp. Mail service in our city zip code is notoriously undependable. Our “morning” mail arrives around 2:00 p.m. Conor took to sleeping until noon just to stave off anxiety. After a few weeks of this, each of us started to plan our day around the mail delivery, making sure to check in with Conor at that time each day, or being available to check for him if he was away.

An artist friend who is well connected at SVA offered to ask around for us. She reported that the letters had been sent out, but could not tell us what they said. We waited.

Conor’s talents in film and photography are well documented. His first film was shown at Black Bear Film Festival when he was 16. Subsequent efforts screened at Digit in Narrowsburg. A film he co-authored, edited and acted in won Apple’s Insomnia Film Festival this year, as the audience favorite out of 2,000 entries.

SVA was not impressed. They had not even asked to see his portfolio, only requesting a two-part essay in the admissions process. The slim envelope that finally arrived in the mail suggested he attend a community college for two semesters and earn some college credits in the humanities and sciences to offset his C average in high school. (The C average was the result of earning only As and Ds, never a C.)

Well, the waiting was over. Our lives were no longer in suspended animation. Friends commiserated. I was secretly relieved.

My sense of relief was born of watching our son struggle with school since Kindergarten. A highly creative kid, an avid reader and able writer who demonstrated a keen artistic eye early on, he just never “got” the academic structure. He had inherited lots of good creative genes from his parents, but he had also gotten my curse—what they now call Attention Deficit Disorder. In my day we were labeled “underachievers” and scolded for not being more diligent. Now, we are offered medication.

I knew Conor wasn’t born inattentive. As a youngster he could sit for hours playing with Legos or mazes or reading Harry Potter books cover to cover, then over again. His attentiveness only lagged when the task was school related. This was a problem that would not disappear with the appearance of an acceptance letter.

I felt bad for feeling relief at his misfortune. What mother wouldn’t? But I had my own plans for life without teenagers at home, and they did not include fretting over missed classes or late assignments. Especially not at art-school prices.

Don’t bother to tell me I sound selfish. After 20 years as a stay-at-home mom, I am.

The good news for Conor is that after absorbing the rejection and having to rethink his plans for next September and beyond, he continued to do what he has been doing since Purchase College dismissed him after one semester. One by one, working on his own film projects and those of friends, making music videos and shooting fashion shows for income, he earned the notice of a French cinematographer and film director team who employed him on a one-day shoot as a production assistant. Impressed by his diligence on set and his general affability, the cinematographer looked at some of Conor’s work ((Conorstratton.com)). Now, he is employed on a commercial shoot and scheduled to work on a feature film as a camera assistant with them in the fall.

The shoot will begin in September, days after classes would have begun at SVA. Now, he’ll have to get his education in the school of life.

- Cass Collins