Eureka!

I had dedicated this summer to my physical wellbeing. I would stay in one place (mostly) and live consciously. After a series of falls and injuries since January that doctors attributed to “degenerative disc and joint disease,” I knew I needed to focus my attention on moving more deliberately, and on building strength.

In early July, the Arts Weekend at The Lake Conference Center in Narrowsburg, NY offered a number of workshops that enticed me, like silk painting, digital photography and acting. But the one I chose was Body/Mind Integration. I was determined not to allow any more dis-integration of either body or mind.

The day before the workshop, I had scheduled a personal yoga therapy session with Susan Sullivan of Narrowsburg. Susan does a therapy called “Phoenix Rising.” In a soothing guided yoga session, verbal intentions are used to achieve a desired state of well-being. I found Susan when I was searching for a referral to a physical therapist. It was a case of “you can’t always get what you want, but if you try, sometimes, you get what you need,” to quote Mick Jagger.

Over the course of the three-day workshop at the Lake Conference Center, we explored aspects of Alexander technique and the Chinese healing art of Qi-Gong. Author Patty deLlosa ran the morning workshops in Alexander technique, while Germaine Fraser moved us through the essential Qi-Gong movements that are aligned with elements, direction, sound and colors related to parts of the body and organ functions.

On the first afternoon, I found myself down on the floor on all fours, moving with a grace and power I had not felt in years. The exercise was intended to help us feel our torso muscles separate from our limbs.

“I am a lioness!” I roared, amazed at my easy speed and strength. The back that had been in pain was wholly functional on this new plane.

As the workshop progressed, I learned things about my body that seem elemental, but that I was clueless about. Like the fact that your head is attached to your spine at roughly ear level, not at the base of the neck as I had imagined. This minor adjustment in thinking allows you to move your head independent of the neck and shoulder muscles, leading to freedom from associated tension and pain. Eureka!

There were many more “eurekas” during our three days in the soothing greensward of the old Camp Wel-Met. The last involved a simple game of catch played outside. We learned to throw a light ball using our arms and hands in movement independent of our back and neck, allowing our heads to “float” on top of our spines. Throwing the ball became easy and pleasurable again, just like when we were children.

Many of the movements we learned in the workshop brought us back to the unstressed state of being associated with childhood. Clearly, the learning process involved a lot of unlearning.

When I left the workshop I felt confident that I was entering a new phase in my state of well-being. I looked forward to a summer of swimming and kayaking, and to a smoother, less painful and stronger body.

So it was with a sense of shock and awe that I found myself flat on my back on the green grass a day later, having heard the snap of my ankle bone as it broke and sent me down to the ground in new pain.

A trip to the emergency room confirmed my auditory acuity. Yes, it was broken, and I would spend the summer using crutches, rather than my new enlightenment, to support my weight.

The combination of high expectations with the lowly injury sent me plunging toward self-loathing until, waking on the second day, I suddenly recalled the lioness I had felt on the first day of the workshop. I saw her on the ground, moving with grace and strength, aware of all her surroundings.

That was it! I could move on all fours through my multi-level home, upstairs and downstairs. A new “eureka” had lifted my gloom. The techniques I had learned in Body/Mind Integration were not for naught. I would use them to help me heal this injury and move myself toward a new awareness.