Celebrating without

By EMILY BACCHIOCCHI

With the holidays approaching, supermarkets and superstores are packed with eager shoppers rushing to complete their purchases. Once we’ve chosen a gift for everyone on our list, we’re quick to wrap and place the presents under our trees. I can remember years when it would take me and my brothers hours to open all the presents that Santa Claus had brought. In the midst of such abundance and youthful innocence, it’s hard to remember that there is such a thing as need.

This past year, has brought us numerous reminders of need in the form of natural disasters. Hurricane Katrina displaced thousands of Americans. As a nation, we pulled together to lend support, sending checks and resources to help people who had lost everything. But need is not something that occurs only after a natural disaster. It is sometimes a way of life.

This year, I met someone who remembers this every day: Barbara Drollinger. She runs the Narrowsburg Ecumenical food pantry and the Saint Francis Xavier Outreach Program, which provides supplies, food and clothes to families in need. With her help, I spoke with three families living in Sullivan County without the means for a holiday celebration, let alone a bountiful one. Here are their stories. (Reader, take note: names have been changed to protect identities.)

Jamie is a working mother who lives in an apartment with her five-year-old daughter, Lynne. Jamie works nights at a Walmart in Monroe, NY. The commute is 85 miles one way, but the pay is decent and her family can watch Lynne while she is at work.

Lynne was recently diagnosed with enterccocus, an antibiotic-resistent bacteria. This disease has affected Lynne’s kidneys and urinary tract. She had to be rushed to the hospital, where she stayed for two weeks. Jamie can’t afford to pay the hefty contribution needed to get full health care benefits from Walmart, and medical bills have put her behind on her rent.

Jamie receives threatening letters. Without any assistance for energy bills, she is falling behind. Lynne’s father, Bill, has not seen Lynne since summer, and he is $4,000 behind in child support. Jamie does not have a phone because she can’t afford it. Her only luxuries are the 15 or so photos of Lynne on the walls.

Jamie recently found the pantry as a source of food. She said, “My wish for Christmas is that Lynne has more than one present to open. She’s a good kid. When I told her that Santa might not be able to give her lots of presents, she smiled and said, ‘That’s okay, Mama.’”

I next met a couple that lives in a tiny trailer that is falling apart, “It’s all ours, though,” said Jack with a smile. Jack and his wife, Mary, are 82 and 81 respectively. The trailer is cluttered with little things they have collected over the years.

Previously, the couple lived in an apartment that once belonged to Jack’s sister. They put $5,000 into fixing the apartment and making it their own. When property values skyrocketed in Sullivan County, the landlord sold the building. Jack said they were lucky to find the current “handy-man’s special.” But the roof began to leak soon after the purchase, eating up their savings. The couple no longer has any money to make much-needed repairs. Their health insurance costs have gone up. “We have to steal from Peter to pay Paul,” said Mary.

The couple wears mostly hand-me-downs and every electrical component in the tiny trailer has been given to them as a gift. Jack has an inner ear problem that makes it hard for him to walk. He has undergone four leg surgeries and has severe back pain when he tries to exert himself.

I asked this couple that they wanted for the holidays. Smiling, they said, “Presents for our great grandkids. We’d also would like some help with raking or trimming, if we could.”

I next spoke with Jen, a 24-year-old mother whose young daughter, Emily, two, clung to her leg during our visit. Jen’s other child, Eric, is four. The three live in a tiny apartment without any means of support. It is difficult for Jen to work as she cannot afford childcare. Occasionally, someone in her apartment complex will pay her for babysitting.

Jen’s ex-boyfriend pays child support of $100 a week and occasionally helps with diapers and wipes. Jen receives assistance with heat and electric through the state, and has been using food stamps. She owns a car but can’t afford to put it on the road. Her brother-in-law helps with transportation, and he and her parents help out when they can.

Eric is extremely rambunctious. Jen said he might be diagnosed with hyper attention deficit disorder if she could afford a doctor. The family has no health insurance. Eric wears hand-me-downs from other kids in the complex, but it’s harder, said Jen, to find clothes for Emily. She shops at the Salvation Army when she can get there.

What does the family want for the holidays? “The kids need clothes,” said Jen. “They are really into Spiderman and Barbie.”

When asked what she would like, Jen said, “I never think of myself. I have two kids; they come first.”

There are families who live in our neighborhoods, attend our churches, shop at our supermarkets and are trying to make ends meet.

Together, we can reach out and change their world, and in doing so, change our own.

To make donations to the food pantry or outreach program, contact Barbara Drollinger at 845/252-3224.