Road trip

For some, a vacation means planning and preparing to explore some exotic region of the world. To me, vacation is to just get a way from the phone long enough to play with my family. So when my mom called me from her office and suggested a quick trip to Tennessee, I was in.

Her job was to find a place to stay, while my daughter and her friend offered to pack the snacks and the car. The plan was to leave from work and stop about half way for an overnight break, then continue to the Carolinas to pick up mom. We hit the road at noon, pausing once for a snack break. I should have know better than to let two teens pick out the treats. Gummy fish just will not do it on a long ride. So it was Domino’s pizza at the room for me.

Well rested, we headed out early, hoping to make mom’s by noon the following day. She was already waiting in the driveway with her bag in hand. I think that she was a little bit disappointed that we chose to get a fresh start in the morning.

Heading off, it reminded me of an old “I Love Lucy” episode, happy campers driving off to an unknown destination. It’s driver’s choice when it comes to music, so I chose John Denver and that will make a teen cry!

When we crossed the border into Tennessee, I asked mom about the rooms. “Well now,” she said in a sly voice. “We really only needed one room and it’s at a Days Inn.”

One room at a Days Inn. I’m feeling the pain already. “Yes, I got a roll-away bed for the girls and you can share the other bed with me.” My eye started to twitch; 48 and sharing with my mommy.

I have to pray to the motel gods that the crazy woman doesn’t kick because I just might steal all of the covers or, worse, kick back. “Mom, let me get two rooms,” I say, hoping to avoid a kick off.

“Nope,” she said, “one is fine; now let’s step on it and get there.” My left eye starts to twitch again, and I explain that I am having a reaction to the John Denver CD.

So my next question is: does anyone know just how many Days Inns there are in Tennessee? MANY! I got off at the exit that was heading us toward Gatlinburg. “Mom, do you know which Days Inn we are staying at?”

“Sure,” she says.

“Okay, well do you have the phone number, so we can call and find out the directions?”

There is silence. “Mom, you do have the phone number?”

“Well, of course I do. It’s sitting right on my desk at my office where I made the reservation.” Now both eyes are twitching. My daughter, sensing my pain, offers me another gummy fish.

I think that we need to ask a law enforcement officer where to find a Days Inn. Then we can probably find out just where we are booked through their computer system. We find an officer who mumbles to us with a heavy Tennessee accent. All I hear is, “right turn onto 411.”

Okay girls look for 411… We see the sign… “No, wait,” Mom says, “I am sure that the officer is wrong it’s 114… go straight.”

I always do what my mother says, which is why I am sure that this room is just not going to be big enough, but I do what I’m told and drive right past 411. On the good side, we do get to see the nicest part of Tennessee... one chop shop and a lot of barbed wire.

We get lucky and find a Days Inn that aims us in the proper direction. Later that night when we are all tucked in and ready for sleep, mom and I get into a laughing jag instead of a kick off and end up keeping those kids awake for most of the night.