The Conservational Gardener

By Nanny Fontanella

Weeds, glorious weeds:
bright dandelions and mustard

With a nod to the show “Oliver” and the introduction to The 20 Minute Gardener by Tom Christopher and Marty Asher, I begin my discourse on the lowly, unloved weed.

Weeds are not evil plants; they are just the supreme opportunists. In nature, they re-colonize and stabilize exposed soil. They are masters of invading what ecologists call “disturbed habitats” because they are amazingly prolific and highly mobile, and they grow astoundingly fast.

Weeds are designed for reproduction. A single plant of purple loosestrife, the European wildflower currently over-running our North American wetlands, bears as many as 3,000 individual blossoms per plant, and these may produce a total of 300,000 seeds each summer. An acre produces almost 2.4 billion seeds annually.

Weed seeds are numberless, they get around, and they are endlessly patient. If buried or otherwise packed away, they simply go dormant, a state in which they can survive undamaged for a long time. In 1987, treasure hunters discovered a Spanish ship at the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico, where it had lain since 1622. In the ship’s hold, an archeologist identified seeds of a weed called the beggar’s tick. When these seeds were placed in fresh water, they began to sprout.

There are roughly two schools of thought regarding the weed. Some authorities feel there are only plants you want and plants you don’t want. But if the gardener learns to eat some, employ others medicinally, plant intensively and mulch a lot, peace and harmony will reign. Apparently, tilling results in seed germination, and cultivation can expose seeds to the air, which means more weeds. So if you don’t want to till, just mulch. If you must roto-till, a German study shows the best time to do so is at night. But even the tiller’s headlight may germinate seeds, so till by the light of the moon.

On the other hand, majority opinion suggests gardeners take antagonistic action against the weed. Experts perceive its invasive nature as a threat to crop and culture and suggest herbiciding them into oblivion. What’s a mother to do?

This spring has been wet (thank heavens), and even though my husband mowed the weekend before, grass was growing like gangbusters and by Sunday, dandelions had formed those innocent looking puff-ball heads. I was sitting on my rear planting peppers when Bob chugged by on his tractor. As he cut the grass, I watched with anguish when at least 100,000 seeds floated everywhere, each of them soon to be a baby.

At this point, it’s time to make a confession. I’m a secret Dandelion lover; spring wouldn’t be the same without those bright, perky flowers scattered over the green lawn. Besides, steamed or sauteed dandelions are a bitter but important liver tonic, and the long taproot improves impacted soil. Don’t get me wrong. I dig them out. I’m not that sentimental.

On the other hand, Chickweed is my least favorite weed. It’s everywhere, and from slender fibrous roots, misery can spread in a three-foot circumference. If ignored, one plant drops 15,000 seeds. Some authorities assert chickweed grows in poor, acidic soil, while others say rich, but in my experience, chickweed flourishes in newly cultivated areas at the edge of borders or between strawberry plants, making it necessary to dig out the strawberry to get it.

There are countless unwanted, wildly successful plants, so after long deliberation, a middle of the road approach seems sensible. Weeds are worthy adversaries, and let’s face it, it’s a win some lose some affair because they just don’t give up and go away. When weeds and other enemies attempt to gain control, they can be defeated if they’re outsmarted. As the greeter for the largest chain store in the world said to a customer when he saw her banging the carts in order to remove one, ”You have to be smarter than the cart.” He was fired for that remark but I have taken it to heart.

Next week, read about techniques I use to put weeds out of business cheaply, without poisoning myself or the environment. If you have any questions, suggestions or comments, “ask Nanny” at asknanny@riverreporter.com.