Issues facing seniors in the rural environment

Part I: Facing isolation and making new connections

By RICHARD A. ROSS

	Contributed photo Candace, Miss Wilma and Miss Sara make Mayday baskets at Murray Tufts Garrett Manor. (Click for larger image)

NARROWSBURG, NY—It goes without saying that as we age, many things about our lives change.

For seniors, those changes can involve facing complex issues and problems such as loneliness, lack of mobility, failing health and economic hardship. Once accustomed to independence and self-sufficiency, many seniors find themselves facing unanticipated obstacles. The golden years can become worrisome and problematic. What was once clear becomes confusing. What was manageable and routine can seem overwhelming.

Many seniors experience increased loneliness.

	Contributed photo Samantha and Miss Lilly share a great friendship. (Click for larger image)

In a rural environment, this problem can be far more daunting than in more densely populated areas where people and services are closer at hand. Accustomed to being surrounded by familiar faces and enjoying a central role in their families, some seniors are forced to readjust to the changing landscape brought on by loss, altered family dynamics, moving or economic hardship.

Paradoxically, longevity may turn out to be a mixed blessing. Friends, spouses, and other family members may pass on. Children grow up, get married, have their own families and move away.

 “Families are not staying in the rural areas,” Emily Paulsen, public relations manager for Wayne Memorial Hospital said. “They are going where the jobs are. Many kids head off to college and don’t come back.”

	Contributed photo Brittany Fuller wears the necklace that the late Miss Mary wanted her to have as a keepsake of their friendship. (Click for larger image)

Changes in the phone system over the years have had an impact on elderly people.

“Many of them used to have party lines and would listen in and communicate with other people they knew,” Paulsen said. “Now, often left alone, seniors can suffer from feeling disconnected.”

For some, TV becomes their main companion. It is no substitute for real life contact. Paulsen said that isolation is a factor in the increased rate of alcoholism among seniors.

Opportunities to be with children can counteract that sense of isolation. There is a natural affinity between seniors and children. Not only have many seniors raised their own children and helped with tending grandchildren, the two age groups have much in common. Neither is preoccupied with the world of work, both have an appreciation for nature and animals and each crave meaningful and emotional times spent with someone who listens and cares.

	Contributed photo Emil (left) is Brittany’s new friend. The two share time together working on a project (Click for larger image)

Narrowsburg second graders are ambassadors of good cheer

A class of second graders at Sullivan West at Narrowsburg has been making monthly visits to the Murray Tufts Garrett Manor Personal Care Facility in Beach Lake, PA. According to teacher Karen Jay, both the children and the adults look forward to the visits with great anticipation. The significance of that connection can be found in the following letter to Brittany Fuller, one of Mrs. Jay’s second graders from a relative of recently deceased Miss Mary.

Dear Brittany,

Hi, my name is Alexandra. I am writing because my boyfriend is Merlin, Mary’s grandson. We loved Mary very much and from what I have heard, you did too. Mary loved you so much! She kept everything you ever gave her. I want you to know how much you meant to her. Please don’ feel sad for too long. Mary loved your smile too much to see you sad.

Wear this necklace and think of Mary and treasure it. Also, this bear was in Mary’s room. We thought she would want you to have it.

Love,
Alexandra

	Contributed photo Kristen and Miss Millie look forward to seeing each other. (Click for larger image)

Each child has been paired up with a resident and they spend time together, correspond and learn about each other’s lives. It has enlivened the lives of many of the residents, as evidenced by their statements.

One of the residents Millie Scott has established a connection with second grader Kristen.

Dear Miss Millie,

I am lucky to know you! Thank you for loving me. I love you too.

Kristen

Millie says, “I look forward to her coming. I had a good friend here named Ernie who passed away on February 18. Having the relationship with Kristen helps a lot.”

Young Samantha visits with Lillian Schneider. Samantha writes:

Dear Miss Lilly,

One thing I want to remember about today is that you gave me hugs and we went around the Maypole.

Love,
Samantha

Lilly says, “It breaks up the monotony when she comes. She has a big smile. We talk about school and whatever we are doing. Loneliness is not such a big problem for me because I am outgoing.”

	Contributed photo Shane and Miss Gert look forward to their visits with each other. (Click for larger image)

A place such as Murray Tufts Garrett affords residents a community of other seniors to befriend. Resident Gert Hertzendorf is one of the lucky ones. She moved from Florida to be near her daughter and grandson who visit her regularly. Even though she has her own family nearby, Gert confirms the value of the children’s visits.

“In Florida, we lived in a senior citizen development and rarely got to see children. I love to be with people. I guess you could say I am a people person.”

Ultimately, each of us is a people person and the value of having relationships with other people is one thing that doesn’t change with age.