Baubles, bangles and beads

This is a pleasant time of the year for a fly- fisher stranded in the horse latitudes of north Texas. By late January, every third or fourth day brings yet another full color catalog from purveyors of fly-fishing gear and fly-tying materials. It is great fun, thumbing through the pages, noting the very latest must-have geegaws, without which your chances of catching a fish are zilch. The prices asked for some of this equipment are absolutely eye-popping. I am convinced that tackle dealers look upon fly-fishers to be nothing more than sheep to be sheared.

(Aside. As I am writing this, a horde of robins and cedar waxwings have descended upon the three holly bushes outside the window of my fly- tying room. They are eating the red berries from these bushes with the enthusiasm of mice turned loose in a cheese factory).

Back to the catalogs. Wow, this one offers me a graphite fly rod, custom made to my order, for only $995. A careful reading of the wording reveals that the only customizing that I can choose is the type of reel seat and the type of wood used in the spacer for the reel seat. Good grief, there are individuals crafting beautiful bamboo fly rods for less than that. The making of a bamboo rod requires great skill, patience and knowledge. They are produced one at a time, not baked in ovens by the batch. I do believe I’ll pass on this rod offer. Could have changed one word there, but this is a family newspaper.

I find that if I wish, I can purchase suede reel cases to protect my reels during storage or travel. A mere $12 each. Since my dad, before he passed away, was an afficionado of Seagram’s Crown Royal whiskey, I have dozens of their purple, draw string Crown Royal pouches which are perfect for storing fly reels. They cost me nothing.

Look at this. Here is an offer for the “toughest, greatest, most breathable and comfortable wader that the fishing world has ever seen.” Who writes their copy? P. T. Barnum? These are a steal of a deal at only $425 per pair.

Who in his right mind would buy these? I never pay more than $60 for waders and with an occasional bit of patchwork, they usually last through five or six years of use. It is true that after hours of wading in cold water on a hot summer day there will be a small amount of condensation on the inside of my waders, slightly dampening my pants. Breathable waders would eliminate this moisture. However, that is a lot of money to pay to avoid such a trivial problem. I’ll skip this make of waders.

A few pages farther along, I am offered the opportunity to buy a Mayfly Beaded Lanyard used for carrying various tools or spools of tippet material. I do use a lanyard to carry my tippet spools. The lanyard hangs inside of my fishing shirt, out of the way, but quickly accessible. The lanyard in the catalog is priced at $24.95. Ha! I made mine from three feet of an old, worn-out fly line. I simply tied a small swivel on one end and a snap and swivel on the other. I have used this arrangement for four years. It has proved to be trouble-free and cost me forty cents.

When I tie flies, I use the same Thompson vice that Barb gave me for Christmas 53 years ago. These days some folks feel they cannot tie a decent fly unless the vice they use costs over $300. It is the fingers and the eyes that tie a fine fly, not the vice.

Well now, I see this catalog offers trips to various exotic places where the trout are as long as your leg. Would you like to fish for trout on the Kamchata Peninsula? The cost for one week is only $4,150, not including airfare. Do they offer something a little less pricey? A trip to Alaska would be just $3,295 a week. Again, plus airfare. Ah, here is a bargain. A week of fly-fishing in Chile is quite inexpensive. Only $2,550 per week plus airfare. Yikes! inexpensive compared to what? I think that this year Barb and I will just fish the Delaware and its environs.

Uh, oh! This catalog has found a chink in my armor. Here are two pages of wonderful dry fly hackle in both necks and saddles. When I first started tying, getting quality hackle for any sized fly was very difficult. Now, we tiers, have a surfeit of wonderful hackle material from a number of suppliers. As I peruse these pages, I see several colors of feather that I do not have. Perhaps, I could also try some of their new microbarb saddle feathers, in different shades. My resistance is melting away like soft ice cream under a July sun. Barb, where is the checkbook?