Toy shopping

I have some free time in the office this morning so I take another look at my Christmas shopping list. It looks like I just need one more thing for my son and a few little things for my brother’s two babies. This whole list thing has changed with time.

I remember our family rule was to put the three things that you would like Santa to deliver on a note. Then you left the note out on the table for an elf to snag during the night.

No more.

I just received a fax from my niece. She is five, in kindergarten, and she does not want to chance that Santa might miss her since she’ll be at my house for Christmas. It looks like she is wishing for Rapunzel Barbie and Prince Stefan Ken. It’s been a long time since I picked a doll for a little girl but I am in luck. I still have some sales inserts on my desk.

My son is easy to find gifts for. Since he is 19, he simply hands me the Cabella’s catalog. He circles all of the things that he does not want.

Oh, what luck! Barbie and Ken are on sale this week, and they are on the faxed list. The ad says that Barbie is portraying Rapunzel and Ken is portraying Prince Stefan. I must be getting old. Since when do dolls get to have alter egos? Wait, I remember a child development class. The instructor explained that boys should be allowed to experiment with dolls to find their feminine side. That is what this must be, some kind of developmental bi-product of the 70s.

I’m not sure I’m ready to deal with the doll thing, so I’ll just thumb through the Cabella’s catalog and see what my son has left uncircled.

Well, what do we have here? It’s a whole line of hunter dolls for boys. This is a must have. It’s an exclusive 12-inch, big-game hunter action figure.

The catalog says, “A great way to get your child excited and interested about the big outdoors, while you both have fun in the process.”

This doll is sporting a nifty little goatee and comes with a hunter guy action accessory pack, complete with day pack, head net, bow and case, rifle, binoculars and grunt call. The add-on accessory list includes a trophy white-tail deer action figure. (No little button buck here. This one happens to be a ten-pointer.) The ad also says there is no age limit. I guess that means that if your guy did not get his trophy while sitting in his tree covered with ice and snow during the Thanksgiving holiday then you can bestow this little treasure upon him. It is a real bargain too! The cost is only $9.99 and is guaranteed to “turn a boring off-season afternoon into a series of possible open country stalks.”

You can also order the matching tree stand and Labrador retriever, complete with a duck in its mouth.

I admire the assorted lifelike outfits. There is a camo one, a white one and nice little orange vest with stylish orange hat. Isn’t there something special about a toy that comes with own kill and scaled four-wheeler to tie it too? All of the fun, without the smell of buck lure.

Oh wait. You cannot have a hunter doll without the authentic log cabin. The cabin shown is the Sierra and it is loaded with extras like a railed loft over the great room, a realistic stone fireplace and chimney. The rustic porch has decorative gables. Nice ad; it brings out the realtor in me.

But what about Barbie? She’s stuck with Ken, who is trying to be Prince Stefan.

What an interesting scenario. It goes like this.

“Hey now, Barbie, how do you like my prince’s cape and purple tights? How about taking a little stroll around the castle later?”

“Well, now Ken, oh, I mean Prince Stefan, you always have been a snappy dresser but … I already have plans with the hunter guy doll from Cabella’s. He is just so hot in his camo! I love his goatee and he comes with his own dinner.”

“But Barbie, I come with a coach and a castle.”

“I know Ken, or I mean Stefan, but I have my own dream house, Corvette and a career in fashion.”

“The hunter guy doll comes with a log home, snowmobile and a thrust for action.”

“Fine then, go with the bad boy doll. Ride on his snowmobile. Just don’t call me when he falls out of his tree stand or chokes on some bony duck. It your loss! I am just going to wander over to the Disney aisle. Cinderella is still available.”