On a handshake

There comes a time in every job where you sit at your desk and mumble to yourself, “Why, why, why. Why am I doing this?” In my case it’s usually followed by a huge bag of Oreo double stuffer cookies.

Today has been especially packed with commitments. I’m a Realtor, and I’m negotiating more transactions than I like to at one time. I can only thank the real-estate gods for the silence of my office. I have been doing this for 15 years. Every time I think that I have seen it all or heard it all, something new happens.

One time I was showing a big old farmhouse. That was when I learned rule number one: never show something you haven’t seen inside first.

I met with the couple just after sunset. The buyers came in from the city and were very new to the country. They never knew that the country was so dark. I think that they were a tad frightened and they were following me very closely. Being the brave, highly trained professional that I am, I led them into the main entrance of the home. I routinely unlocked the door and shouted in a friendly hello just in case there might be someone inside. Not a sound, so I flicked on the light switch. Slowly we proceeded up the stairs. It was cold out and the inside of this house held the chill. I remember pulling my faux fur coat close to me as we made our way up the creaky old staircase.

The buyers, fresh out of the city, were not speaking; in fact, they were barely breathing. I was trying very hard to make some light conversation but it just wasn’t happening. Finally when we reached the top of the stairs I hit the second switch and nothing, a clicking sound. Slowly I reached for the first doorknob I could see. A faint dim glow of light was reaching out from under the door.

Carefully I pushed the heavy old door open. That’s when it caught my eye. Crash! We all heard the loud slamming noise at the same time. Okay, so I’m not that good at country either. I jumped and screamed as my eye caught the movement of a rather large boa constrictor. “Great. He thinks I’m dinner!”

I jumped back just in time to see my buyers running down the stairs. I didn’t know that the owner collected snakes. I never saw those buyers again after that night.

Those where the good old days, when the worst thing that could happen was being crushed and eaten by a family pet. No longer, not in the current real estate market. These days you can’t buy a house on a handshake. This has become a true test of patience for my colleagues and me. It can only be described as a feeding frenzy.

Then there is the information highway, the Internet. I don’t think that anyone sleeps anymore. I never knew that there were so many sleepless souls out there who search the night waves for bargains and pen pals. Once they find a house or area they are interested in, they get researching.

I think that the only thing that all real estate professionals all over the country have in common is our love for food. Offer us food and we’ll be there! Toss in pastries and we are truly committed. It was a ten-hour seminar on the dangers of mold. After sitting through a slide show and sample analysis and seeing some deformed lungs, I was so totally scared that I ran home and bleached my entire house down.

So why am I still working at this career? Well, the answer came to me recently. This is a time of multiple offers on many of the nicer homes. I showed a wonderful Cape Cod to a real nice family. They had fallen in love with the home and were looking forward to building a barn for the children’s pony. The offer was made and, though it was a little more than they wanted to spend, a deal was struck. The owners of the home had spent many happy times there and were looking forward to a life of traveling. I felt good about the transaction. When I told the young family that they won the bid they were screaming with happiness.

Later that afternoon, another offer came in on the same house. It was a better offer, higher and all cash. My job is to present all offers to the homeowners. I was sick thinking about how I was going to tell the young family that they were outbid. I must have dialed that phone ten times before I let it go through. I told the owners about the higher and better offer, and asked them what they wanted to do. To my surprise, the owners said that they would take the first offer; they wanted the family to have the house that they loved so much.

I have only seen that happen one other time in my 15 years. The house will be closing soon. Even though the excitement that flows through the transaction is winding down, I really need to know that a handshake can still buy a house. I’m sure that there will be some tears at this closing.