What’s at the Movies

By Ian Pugh

Crossroads deserves cross words

“Crossroads” is like Thelma & Louise for the uninitiated. Both have a Midwest road trip, but “Crossroads” has no bearing on reality whatsoever, the dialogue is terrible, the acting is abysmal and the entire affair is ultimately confusing and irritating. It appears that everyone was so excited over Britney Spears starring in her own movie that no one realized how much work would have to go into making it watchable.

When they were all ten years old, Lucy (Britney Spears), Mimi (Taryn Manning) and Kit (Zoe Saldana) buried a time capsule, containing their lifelong dreams, in which they promised to dig it up on the night of their high school graduation. When that day comes, the three girls have grown apart: Lucy is the valedictorian of her class, Mimi is six months pregnant, and Kit is a snobbish popular girl with an engagement ring. However, they still keep their pact, and when they finally realize how far they have drifted away from their dreams, they decide to go on a road trip.

Mimi wants to go to a record audition in L.A., where Kit’s fiancé resides. Lucy also wants to visit her estranged mother (Kim Cattrall) who resides in Arizona, despite the wishes of her overprotective father (Dan Aykroyd). The girls’ ride is Ben (Anson Mount), a mysterious guy who was rumored to been in prison for murder. The relationship between the four is strained at best, but they’re all getting closer to each other as the trip continues…

“Crossroads” expects the audience to believe many preposterous events, including a number of traumatic experiences that would result in years of therapy, but are easily brushed off. The script is so baffling and inconsequential that one can’t help but scratch one’s head.

Britney, as an actress, does not emote in the least. She seems to have only one acting mode, that of an innocent voice of reason, and it becomes tiresome quickly. Manning and Saldana are the bickering girlfriends whose range doesn’t go beyond that. One bastion of light here is Dan Aykroyd, and sadly, his screen time is limited.

A Britney Spears movie can’t go by without a few pop songs, albeit lacking in entertainment value. At a karaoke bar, the three lead girls perform “I Love Rock and Roll” and make it sound like “The Wheels On the Bus.” Also, Britney’s hit “I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman” is incredibly overplayed.

This is Britney’s starring debut in feature films. Future projects are not promising by the looks of this movie. My suggestion to Britney is to find a better script and take some acting lessons. Audiences should encourage this by avoiding “Crossroads” altogether.