At the mercy of others
I gave Rose a few suggestions about where to get good care, based on research done when my mother was in a similar situation. “Get in a good place now, while you have private assets,” I told her. Then they have to keep you when you run out of cash. Since she has no family, she is not concerned about the need to pass on her estate. The last time I spoke to Rose she was considering a larger apartment with a live-in aide. The only problem with that arrangement is outliving your assets. At 90, I guess Rose is betting on those actuarial tables.
The best advice she gave me was to be honest with yourself and others when the time comes to relinquish control of your life. Until then, rock on!