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October 26, 2016
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Coping in the new economy

Imagine the peace of mind Bag O’ Poop will provide the elderly (who will have the option of providing their own raw material.) Perhaps Obamacare will add poop bags to Medicare, thereby making Bag O’ Poop an entitlement. Funding could come from the ensuing reduction in prison costs as criminals resort to white-collar crimes that can’t be stopped with Bag O’ Poop. Or can they? I think I just came up with a new application. Just take Bag O’ Poop to your next appointment with your financial advisor. You may not even have to use it. Bag O’ Poop is a great deterrent. Just knowing it’s there has made me feel safe—even on Wall Street. And once Bag O’ Poop is a commodity, all streets will be clear of offending messes as resourceful street-people collect errant packages to re-sell.

I plan to start beta-testing Bag O’ Poop with the Occupy Movement. I’ll propose it to the General Assembly. “Mic check,” “Mic check,” “Bag O’ Poop!” “Bag O’ Poop!” I can promote it as a solution to their own sanitation problems and as a legal (for now) self-defense method against over-zealous law enforcement. Why, there might be poop flying all over Wall Street before I’m done.

Join the Bag O’ Poop revolution! Carry one with you wherever you go. “Reduce, re-use, recycle” is Bag O’ Poop’s motto. You only need to use it once to know it works!