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May 01, 2016
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Peace and Justice Files

Screwdisk makes some endorsements

FROM: Screwdisk, Senior Executive VP Sales & Acquisitions, HellCorp North America
TO: Scumbucket, Associate Tempter, District 17-B (Upper Delaware Valley and environs)
RE: primary elections and related topics

My dear nephew:

I remember when you were but a wee imp, always sticking your hooves in your mouth, lashing the household pets with your tail—so nauseatingly cute! No doubt you still recall the little rhymes your teachers taught you back then, in the early days of your training, when your horns were just coming in. This was always one of my favorites:  Read more

Regarding golden parachutes

A few years ago, I worked for a small startup company. At one point, the founders of the company sought outside funding, and the financiers brought in a new CEO, a self-described “serial entrepreneur” from Colorado, as a condition for providing the money to help the company grow “to the next level.”  Read more

The world don’t owe you nothin’

Yeah, I know what they meant, but…

Wait, wait, wait, let me back up. Another one of those Internet memes caught my attention the other day on Facebook. Maybe you’ve seen it too. The picture is of a page of a spiral notebook. The caption reads, “A comprehensive list of everything you’re entitled to and that the world owes you.”

The page, of course, is blank.  Read more

LCD vs. GCF

Do you remember learning about fractions, back in fifth grade or so? Then you might remember those terms, “LCD” and “GCF.” They came in handy when simplifying fractions, or adding them together…

But don’t worry, we’re not here to talk about math, we’re talking about politics.  Read more

Letter from Santa

The North Pole

December 2015

My Dear Friends:

We trust that you are having the best holiday season possible, given present circumstances. A few questions have been definitely trending, as they say, in Santa’s mailbag so far this year, so all of us here at the workshop appreciate Mr. Mendler and, making this space available to us so that we can address some of these concerns.  Read more

And So It Begins…

One of the little things I find particularly annoying online is when someone posts some dire bit of news and then solemnly intones, “AND SO IT BEGINS…” like some character from Lord of the Rings or Game of Thrones.

Usually, the “it” refers to some apocalyptic scenario that the writer has apparently been anticipating for years, with this one story representing the first falling domino leading to the inevitable doom.  Read more

Blockbuster sequel “WWIII” set to begin full-scale production

PLAUSIBLE NEWS SERVICE, “Keeping Ahead of Reality Since 2001”

NEW YORK, NY (Plausible News Service) — Based on well-placed industry sources, Plausible News Service has learned that a major announcement will be forthcoming shortly from the world’s leading powers, concerning their collaboration on the long-anticipated blockbuster “World War III.”  Read more

Delayed reaction

It doesn’t matter how careful you are. You can take all the precautions you like, but injuries will still happen.

We childproofed our house to a fare-thee-well—all outlets covered, drawers latched, sharp table corners covered with those little rubber bumpers. But all that was to no avail when our infant daughter crawled under the coffee table and then tried to stand. For a few seconds, her wails might have made you think the world was on fire. But she soon got over it, and set off on her next adventure.  Read more

Seventy years on

The summer weather—hasn’t it been lovely, for the most part? The warm, clear days, the cool nights… the chirps of birds and peepers… sitting outside, your head on someone’s lap, looking up at the stars in an August night sky, the sound of a river in the distance, a thought might occur to you:

How is it that we are still here?

Seriously, now, think about it: as of a few days ago, it’s been 70 years, nearly three-quarters of a century, since the United States dropped atomic bombs on the Japanese cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki.  Read more

Pope Francis vs. the Mammonists

After opening to overflow audiences in South America, the biggest blockbuster of 2015 is about to hit the USA—and no, it has nothing to do with superheroes battling a psychopathic robot. This event, which will be coming to only three American cities, promises to be even bigger than the Grateful Dead’s “Fare Thee Well” concerts, or Neil Young’s return to Bethel Woods.

I am referring, of course, to the coming papal visit in September.  Read more