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April 19, 2014
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Why not try sodium benzoate? Not only is it a preservative in salad dressings and silver polish, it’s one of the fastest burning rocket fuels and provides a lot of thrust. Surely it could reach those impossible-to-reach pockets of gas. Speaking of gas, I wonder if the good folks at Halliburton have seen the YouTube videos that show 18-foot explosions produced by combining Mentos and Cola. Perfect for shattering bedrock.

Whenever you feel a little uneasy about the prospect of hydraulic fracking, visit halliburton.com. We can certainly rest assured that our best interests are in the hands of a company deeply concerned about the well being of our environment.