Trick or treat?

Posted 8/21/12

Halloween used to be my favorite holiday, but over the past few years, the spooktacular frivolity has gotten old, just like me. Perhaps my case of arrested development has worn off and adulthood is …

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Trick or treat?

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Halloween used to be my favorite holiday, but over the past few years, the spooktacular frivolity has gotten old, just like me. Perhaps my case of arrested development has worn off and adulthood is finally setting in, or maybe I’m just too jaded to care. All I know is that even though neighborhoods throughout the Upper Delaware River region are about to be teeming with little ones shrieking with glee while their parents attend more adult-themed festivities, I’m not sure that I’ll even go out to one of the many parties (see page 16) scheduled to occur over the next few nights. For one thing, there are the clowns. Creepy, nightmarish, downright demonic clowns are everywhere this year, and I don’t like it one little bit.

For more than a few months, videos and photos of seriously menacing looking clowns have been “trending” online (www.youtube.com) and have even been a topic popping up on the nightly news. Perhaps it’s because of the political climate and the public desire to point fingers at both presidential candidates, where the word “Bozo” has surfaced on more than one occasion. Whatever the reason, it’s freaking me out. Even as a kid, I didn’t like ‘em, and in fact, I know few folks who did. My earliest memory of clowns was (like most of us) at the circus, and the red-nosed, guffawing jerks in rainbow wigs tossing buckets of confetti in my face were scary. And even now, a tiny car filled with balloon animals and those who wield them (let’s face it, they all look like snakes) still makes my skin crawl. In my attempt to unravel the weirdness, I turned to the Internet, where discussion on the subject is rampant. Using “the Google” (as mom was so fond of saying), I discovered that literally tens of thousands are chiming in on the subject, including author Angela Chen (www.theverge.com) who may not have soothed my jangled nerves, but has made it clear that I’m not alone with my concerns. In an article titled “The 2016 clown panic: 10 questions asked and answered,” Chen addresses the phenomenon in detail.

“Back in the middle of August,” Chen wrote, “there were claims that clowns were seen lurking in the woods outside of Greenville, South Carolina and a police report was filed.” The local news story somehow went “viral” online and copycats ensued. “A man in Kentucky was arrested for dressing as a clown and hiding in the woods,” her story continued, “and in Alabama, a woman called 911 [seriously?] claiming that she was ‘terrified’ seeing a clown in a Walmart parking lot.” Schools in Ohio were closed. A clown in New York City chased a teen out of the subway, and there have been sightings in California (let’s face it, Los Angeles is riddled with clowns), Texas, Florida and Colorado—and the list grows exponentially with each passing day. Oy.

Naturally, college kids have joined in and campuses across the country are crawling with “vigilante clown hunters,” and during a recent White House briefing, press secretary Josh Ernest mentioned that he “wasn’t sure if the president had been notified of the issue” (www.abcnews.com). Really? Wow, man.

“Is this bizarre trend really hurting anyone?” I wondered, but in fact, a teenager wearing a clown mask was stabbed to death by a man in Pennsylvania (www.foxnews.com). So clearly, the clown thing is no laughing matter, and the national phobia is getting out of control. There’s even a name for it—“coulrophobia,” but my research was quick to point out that “just because there’s a word for it doesn’t mean that it’s legitimate” (www.al laboutcounseling.com).

I may need counseling before the craziness dies down, and it’s my fervent wish that by the time Halloween is over, the insanity abates. Not surprisingly, my Internet search revealed that the hip-hop music duo ICP (www.insaneclownposse.com) made a statement regarding the issue stating, “There are no killer clowns, just jackasses being jackasses,” and that “everyone should just relax,” which is probably advice that I should take to heart.

In my travels last week, I came across several scarecrows in Livingston Manor and wasn’t frightened at all (I may be “flighty,” but I’m not a bird!), but rather found them quite charming. Business owner Maria Bivins (www.liferepurposed.net) told me that the display “came about from a discussion of Livingston Manor Renaissance members” and that individual businesses “designed scarecrows to reflect their personalities.” Thankfully, not a single one was a clown, although the uncanny resemblance of one to local entrepreneur Van Morrow (www.mountainbearcrafts.com) was downright scary. As you prepare your costumes for the holiday, please—do us all a favor and avoid the urge to send in the clowns. As disco queen Donna Summer once famously sang, “Enough is Enough.” IMHO.

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