Mixed emotions

Posted 8/21/12

Those two words pretty much sum up what I’m feeling at the moment. The summer was a rollercoaster, and even though I swore that I would take more time to stop and smell the roses, the last blooms …

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Mixed emotions

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Those two words pretty much sum up what I’m feeling at the moment. The summer was a rollercoaster, and even though I swore that I would take more time to stop and smell the roses, the last blooms have already faded away, and the best I can do now is sniff over what might have been. Last summer, I spent as much time as possible swimming in Crystal Lake. Having moved, that particular slice of paradise is no longer down the road, and although there are plenty of swimmin’ holes throughout the Upper Delaware River region, I find myself welcoming autumn without having put a toe in the water all summer long. (Sigh.)

Like most little ones, Dharma the Wonder Dog had a blast during the summer months. Oblivious to the day-to-day worries that plague the bipedal community, she romped, hiked and snoozed in the midday sun, unmindful of concerns about snow tires, (arrgh!) winterizing the house and the oncoming months that cause many of us to hibernate, while making lists of what I wish to accomplish during my “down time.” But I’m getting ahead of myself. After all, fall has just begun. While I bid a fond farewell to summer, I relish the changing of the leaves, hot mulled cider and a bit (just a bit, please) of cooler temps to cause a sweater or two to snake out of the closet and onto my withering frame. I love fall, but will miss summer: mixed emotions.

After all of the hoopla, my photo exhibit has come and gone. Although the pictures are still hanging on the walls (www.forestburghtavern.com), the crowds have come and gone, too, and the last notes of the singer entertaining the audience (www.pattigreco.com) have faded into the cool night air, leaving me a little melancholy, wondering what comes next. The event was a huge success and Dharma’s four-legged friends at Catskill Animal Rescue (like them on Facebook) are wagging their tails, as adoptions take place, and dogs and cats find new homes and hearths to warm their paws by before winter sets in. Of course, I’m thrilled that I was able to help raise much-needed funds for the animals, but now that the barking has subsided, I’m less motivated than I was just a week ago, so my emotions are, well… mixed.

Dragging my feet, I made my way over to the Pavilion at Bethel Woods to catch the last (sigh) big concert of the year in the form of Jackson Browne, who sounded (and looked) pretty good, considering the fact that there’s a little snow on that roof. In point of fact, he’s only a few years older than me, but I ain’t young, and that’s the truth. How do I feel about that? Mixed. Browne’s appearance was an ideal (IMHO) show with which to cap the concert season, since his show was mellow, laid-back and a bit of a stroll down memory lane as he sang some old favorites (“Doctor My Eyes,” “Take it Easy”) while folks in the audience sat (what a novel concept) and sang along with the crooner softly, as the cool night air washed over us along with the nostalgia. It was a lovely night, but I left early, since I was feeling wistful about the swift passage of the season and my emotions were… you get the idea.

As predicted in last week’s column, the Jewish holiday of Yom Kippur is here, so it’s time for me to seriously reflect on my life and whatever transgressions I might have made over the last year, while atoning as best I can. At this time of year, I miss my mom the most. Although she is constantly in my thoughts, the holidays are particularly poignant, and I find myself strolling through the woods, pup at my side, wishing my mother were here to tell me how “delicious” the cooler temps feel to her Floridian bones as we reminisce over ironing fall leaves between sheets of wax paper and hanging them in the windows, allowing the last rays of sunlight to project the colors on the walls, before the sun begins setting in the late afternoon. As the memories wash over me I think about the past more than the future, and wax nostalgic for lost innocence, while simultaneously grateful for having had her loving arms wrap around me when I was young, before the autumn of my life had commenced. I celebrate the changing of the seasons, knowing that spring will awaken us once more, but with winter just around the corner, and mom not here to listen to my complaints about shoveling and ice, I plan to rifle through drawers, looking for the scarves she knitted for me, and prepare to don them once again… with mixed emotions.

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