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September 22, 2014
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There’s got to be a morning after...

Cake artist Kim Simons, left, and Elizabeth Klimchok, proprietor of Green Living Peace (GLP), enjoy a quiet moment at the shop’s grand opening in Jeffersonville, NY.
TRR photos by Jonathan Fox


Well, it’s finally here. If the Mayans were right, this will be my last column. Ever. I’ve been on planet Earth long enough to have seen several “end-of-the-world” dates come and go, but this one, the so-called “Mayan Prophecy,” has really taken the world by storm. While hardly an alarmist, I have been keenly interested in the subject for well over a year. In fact, I wrote about this subject last spring (www.riverreporter.com/feature/16/2012/03/20/2012-prophesies-fact-or-fantasy) exploring the issue in some detail.

Truth be told, there is a certain appeal regarding the “end of days.” No more bills to pay. Little concern over what to make for dinner tomorrow night. No more wondering whether I should clean out the fridge, and more importantly, I can finally stop obsessing over how my hair looks. That said, I have spent the last few months researching, studying, reading and watching endless hours of programming on TV. Conclusion? I’m still up in the air, but honestly, it seems unlikely. I’m a big fan of space exploration, so it seemed natural to go to the source (www.nasa.gov) and find that the “official” word is this: “12/21/2012 won’t be the end of the world as we know, however, it will be another winter solstice.” Hmm.

The Internet is humming with speculation and I found thousands of websites devoted to the topic, including www.december2012.com, which states in part that “the mainstream media only tells you what they have to and downplays the rest to prevent mass panic.” Hmm. Since I play a huge part in the “mainstream media,” I have decided that it’s my responsibility (dare I say duty?) to share my suggestions: Cancel your “fruit-of-the-month club,” but not your next haircut (just in case). Put off all holiday shopping until Saturday (you’ll get a better deal, regardless), and remember to shop local, since mail delivery may be a tad “slow” after the apocalypse.

On that note, I decided to keep to my schedule and ran over to Jeffersonville, NY for the grand opening of GLP (www.greenlivingpeace.com) and have a piece of cake, before it’s too late. Throwing caution to the wind, proprietor Elizabeth Klimchok was all smiles during the party and the cake (www.cakesbykimsimons.com) was (IMHO) incredible. Following the official ribbon cutting, I chatted briefly with Klimchok, who shared that her new “shopping destination” was “all about community.” She showed me around, pointing out hand-crafted gifts created by local artists, and expressed her desire for others to reach out. “I’d love to present even more locally made items, so please, stop by or give me a call; this is just the beginning.” Hmm. “We’ll see,” I intoned, while making a mental note to return for some last minute gifts—if there is a morning after.

Not wanting to frighten the little ones, I put impending doom on hold, slipped into my elf suit and joined in the celebration going on last Saturday at Santa’s Village (www.facebook.com/pages/Santas-Village-at-Hilltop-Homes/483882431645583) in Monticello, NY. In between on-air quips on Thunder 102 (www.thunder102.com), I made the rounds with Dharma, the wonder dog (aka, Santa’s magic puppy) while basking in the magic of the season and sharing the joy with (literally) thousands of kids. The event, now in its fifth year, was a rousing success, collecting donations benefiting Sullivan County Toys for Tots and CASA (www.sullivancountycasa.org), a non-profit that screens, trains and supervises court-appointed advocates for abused and neglected children.

Thankfully, I was able to put all thoughts of planetary extinction on hold for a few hours and revel in the incredible musical light show that Dave Dunlap and his many elves have created for the children.

Since the Internet was still humming (for the moment) I went online, tweeted a bit and checked back in with the “real” world (www.tomorrowsworld.org), which is thrumming with excitement, stating that “Some claim that there is a mysterious “extra planet”—variously called Nibiru or Planet X—cruising around our solar system waiting to smash into the earth by the end of 2012. Others say that the planet’s magnetic field will flip—causing massive continental upheaval, cataclysmic volcanic eruptions, and world-ending floods. Still others predict calamities associated with Earth’s crossing the “galactic plane” of the Milky Way.” Hmm.

“No time like the present” I whispered to the dog, and canceled my psychic reading scheduled for next week. “I’d rather be surprised,” I thought, deciding in that moment to adopt a “don’t-worry, be-happy” attitude (at least for the next few days.) Listening to Sinatra (I did it my way) on the way home, I decided to put fear on hold, assuming that there would be plenty of time to freak out in the future, should there be one. With one eye on tomorrow, I took a peek at my horoscope (www.astrology.com) and read that “sweeping changes are in store; you’re moving toward the great unknown, so let go.” Maybe I should pick up some extra hair gel, just in case.