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September 20, 2014
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Death takes a holiday


In a perfect example of “point-counterpoint,” the two moms had wildly different reactions when I shared this deep-thought meditation with them respectively. While birth-mother Barbara seemed horrified by what she interpreted as “dark and gruesome,” Pat got it right away. I explained how practicing this meditation was intended to make me think about the choices I make in my day-to-day life, and have found this thought process to be an invaluable tool.

We all make choices, whether consciously or not, throughout our lives and thankfully, I no longer believe in regret, viewing it as a waste of time. Although saddened by this recent passage, I rejoice in having had two incredibly strong (and vastly different) women in my life, neither of whom held back in their assessment of how I comported myself, never failing to weigh in on the decisions I made, always succeeding in lifting me up when I felt lost or alone.

Rather than feeling lost now, I call upon that strength and support in an attempt to share it with my other “siblings” who are currently feeling the waves of loss that seem to be endlessly crashing on the shores of Seneca Lake, where we gathered just two months ago to scatter my mom’s ashes, as we prepare to do the same with Pat’s mortal remains. If it’s true that “misery loves company,” then surely we are in good shape—but still, I prefer to celebrate, rather than mourn, and plan to do just that.

While hardly a holiday, this too will become a cherished memory (of sorts) and hopefully serve as a (somewhat cliched) reminder for all of us, that life is indeed short, and that there is no time like the present, since none of us know what is in store beyond this moment. With any luck, there are still a few adventures waiting in the wings.