One last cast
Be sure to get your column to the editor on time, lest she suffer a nervous breakdown. Submitting more than 600 words will earn you a rap on your knuckles from the editor.
At some point you will learn that your words have offended someone. Be of good cheer. After all, that person was actually reading your column.
The Tangler, Willy Landem, Split Cane and the gang all wish you good luck.
My only regret after 253 columns is that my old English teacher at the Bronx High School of Science, Miss Dorothy Frank, never learned that the boy she once considered her worst pupil ever, was now being paid for writing essays.